Originally written: October 4, 2015
The song “Good, Good Father” has been on repeat for weeks now. I actually bought it on my phone (and I don’t buy anything on my phone, except for my friend Caitelen’s EPs: Undone by Grace and Dark is Light--they are AMAZING and her voice really is like an angel’s!!!).
But this song—it just gets me deep down in the nitty gritty parts of my life. It's just so simple. It reminds me who God is, and it reminds me exactly who I am…
“You’re a good, good father. It’s who you are. And I’m loved by you. It’s who I am.”
Doesn’t that just seem so easy? So simple? But I am reminded of a coaching clinic I attended a few weeks back. The coach was discussing some very simple, fundamental things that a good player and program will do. And she reminded us that although they may be simple, that does not mean they are easy. It’s so easy to get the two confused.
It’s simple, I tell my team. Box and out and rebound, or we are not going to win.
It’s simple! But I can assure you that is one of the most difficult things to get a team to do consistently!
And I feel like that with this song. It’s so simple! But then why is it so hard to remember sometimes? Why do I worry? Why do I stress?
I AM LOVED BY GOD! IT’S WHO I AM!
But there is another part to the song that grabs me now. The part about “calling me deeper still.” I’ve listened to it so many times; I know each word by heart. Yet there’s something about these words that have struck me in a new way recently. And they scare me. I recognize that He will always be calling us deeper into His love, but now with the unknown of my MS, I wonder what exactly that will look like.
I know that my MS has brought me deeper. It’s given me two options: either get deeper or get out. It seems like a no brainer. But when I recognize how suffering (and I use the term loosely because I recognize my “suffering” is nothing in comparison to so many others) has brought me closer to the Lord, it makes me nervous as to what is next. How else will He draw me closer? And yet I remember again the verse on my fridge: “But as for me, it is GOOD to be near God” (Psalm 73:28).
Our circumstances—especially the ones with the most heightened emotions, whether that be of extreme joy or deep sorrow—seem to draw us (or at least me) closest to the Lord.
TRUST. It all comes back to trusting our good, good Father.