Originally written: August 17, 2015
What do you love with all your heart??? This is the question the Lord has been asking me since I listened to Jimmy Needham’s song this past spring. I have been so burdened by this question lately, and I know why: I can’t shake the idols.
I’m just being real with you. Idols are everywhere. They are people, they are possessions, they are future plans, they are a little, round, orange ball. They are anything we put before our God. And most recently, the Holy Spirit has been communicating my need to give them all up—to love the LORD “with all my heart,” and not all these other things.
In the past few days, I’ve had several big reminders. Let me share the awesome ways the Lord is working:
1. “Clear the Stage”
Jimmy Needham’s song has been back on my heart. It started the summer off even before I knew about MS, and now it is ending it. Please don’t think I’ve been lazy—I admit I’ve lost focus at times—but I have made progress over the past three months. The song—you must listen to it!—is so convicting in that it asks you in such plain language to analyze your heart’s desire….
We must not worship something that's not even worth it
Clear the stage, make some space for the one who deserves it
Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
Anything that I give all my love is an idol
Stop. Right now. And ask yourself these questions: what do you want with all your heart? What can you not stop thinking of? To what do you give all your love?
When I challenge my heart to be truthful (because I know I cannot hide my true heart from the Lord, anyway), I recognize the ugly inside of me, and I beg for forgiveness. I beg for the Lord to help my heart do this—to love Him before anything or anyone else. How? It is a constant acknowledgment of the idol and a constant dependence on seeking God both in prayer and in His word.
2. Psalm 51
In my quiet time the other day I prayed for the Holy Spirit to deliver me where my heart needed to be. He delivered me to Psalm 51. As soon as I began reading, I knew what the Lord wanted to communicate…AGAIN. My sin—my idols.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
The only way to conquer the idols is through Him. Verses 1-3 challenged me immediately, especially that “I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.” Wow! I do know them, and I do need to be delivered. And the Lord uses the Psalm to remind me that “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”
I believe the Lord is asking me to remember my brokenness daily—to stay focused on this, so that He might continue to grow me in a way to beat the idols, to grow ever closer to Him. He reminds me of my weakness:
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Grace. His grace. It is sufficient. He will not let me stay here.
What a gift.
To be continued...