Originally written: August 14, 2015
Don’t judge me. We are on our way to Hilton Head, and I am typing in the front seat of the car at 9:42pm, Phil Whickam singing in the background. Our stop in Wytheville, VA can’t come soon enough. My memories of Wytheville are of my Great Aunt Edie and Uncle Cal—of driving in their van, my head resting on Aunt Edie’s lap in the backseat as she rubs my head and puts me to sleep. We’d stop for the night to break up the drive and have dinner at Scrooge’s Restaurant. It’s funny how things come full circle.
At this point, we are no longer on my last nerve. Apparently, there is another nerve after the last one, and that is where we currently are. My arm feels as though it might fall off from reaching in the backseat to hold Charlotte's hand or rub her little legs, so I have resorted to listening to her scream, “Rub me, Mommy. Rub me, Mommy!”
Brian turns and says, “Shhh…shut your eyes Chi Chi.”
She says, “No.”
Brian: “Keep em open.”
Tears.
Now Brian is humming a song with Shhhh’s. Charlotte’s not buying it. Cameron has finally fallen silent after an hour and a half straight of “I’m so thirsty….” in his whiniest voice. And Brian had to tell Peyton that he’d reached his quota for questions. Someone told me recently that the average four year old asks 400 and some questions in a day. I thought that was high, but I’m fairly certain Peyton is above average in this area. I think he reached 400 in two hours.
Charlotte is still yelling, “Mommy!”
I know I will miss this someday, but for now I thank the Lord for books…I’ve handed one out to each child and there is actually silence. We head through a tunnel on our way into Virginia. I hold my breath—a family tradition (as long as you’re not driving), and I make it through no problem (in part because Brian has also passed his last nerve and has slightly picked up the pace).
Phil keeps talking to me in the background, and I listen through the screams from the backseat: “Crying out in desperation…Heaven fall down…Spirit pour out.” Brian turns it up, and I literally pray this in my head. We decide to pray as a family, and I ask for an abundance of patience for Mommy and Daddy, for children that will obey and that we might be a light to those around us.
The song changes and the car is silent for a moment except for Phil: “There is no one like our God. We will praise You!” I think about the last two months, about starting my medication (a small, yellow and white pill that I will take every day) just a week ago, and all that has transpired in such a short time. I am so thankful for this vacation that was scheduled long before it all happened. It reminds me of God's sovereignty and perfect plan. His will and not my own.
I need to praise God for the sweet reprieve He has given me.
Hilton Head, here we come!