The heat. The humidity. It's real. It's hot. It's SO hot. I feel this--literally--now more than ever before. And it has presented its challenges for me this summer. MS and heat are not the best of friends. And it exacerbates my symptoms, primarily the extreme fatigue. It's something I try to convince myself isn't really there--that it's just a shadow in the dark. But I am realizing it's okay for it to be real. It's okay to not always be okay. What does it feel like? Here is what I felt the other day as I sat outside in the midst of it:
Today I feel so tired it's even hard to talk. The energy it requires makes me feel so helpless. I've been reading about praying like a little child, and so I sit outside, watching my little children and I think of Peyton and a joke I recently heard.
It said, my name isn't Mom.
It's Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!
I thought of my sweet, little P-Man. We call him "persistent Peyton" (note the word patient is not the "p" word we have selected for him). Persistent because he keeps coming back: "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom... ."
And so I sit today and pray to God--persistently, like a little child: "God please..., God hear me..., God I need you, God, God, God, God." And I pray again that the Holy Spirit will intercede for me:
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."
Galatians 4:6